lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve...
Eve
Very good, very good, well done.
All right, due back here in an hour. Go.
Mr Poppy! Mr...
Right, carefully, please. Carefully, Lucy.
Hello, Sadie. That was great. Well done.
Um... l don't really want to do it.
- You don't want to do what? - The singing and dancing.
Come here, sit down, sit down.
Sadie, that was absolutely brilliant.
Everyone's gonna laugh at me.
No, everyone's gonna laugh with you.
Anyone who tells you that anyone's gonna laugh at you must be a fool,
because you were great up there, and you shone like the brightest star.
You were really good. Please don't drop out now.
Truth be known, l need you. l need all of you in it, OK?
lf you don't do it for yourself, just please look at me.
l'm a man literally on the edge of something, l don't know what.
But if you go now,
it will really, genuinely,
hurt me.
You were great up there.
- Do l have to wear a stupid costume? - Yes.
lt's the nativity, you can't look cool.
Go on, go and have your lunch.
Oh, you're joking.
'Dear Father Christmas, l'm so scared of not doing the play properly,
'so please could you make my Christmas wish come true
'and make Hollywood love us in the play?
'PS. Make me be Mary. Love, Saffron.'
'Dear Santa, please send me loads of stuff and surprises.
'l want to be happy and see more of my mum
'because she never spends any time with me.
'And please let me be Joseph. She's never seen me do a school play before.
'Thank you very much. From Oli.'
'Dear Santa, please let my Christmas wish come true.
'l'd really love for everyone in the world to be happy, even Mr Maddens.
'Please help him get his girlfriend back when she comes to see us.
'Thank you very much. From Charlotte.'
'Dear Father Christmas, please make my teacher happy
'because he seems really sad, he doesn't even like Christmas.
'So, please help him find his smile.
'Love from Lucy.'
Right, who wants to go on a death slide?
- Me! - Yes!
- What's going on? - l'm going.
- What do you mean? - l'm going to Hollywood.
- Are you being serious? - Yes, l am.
Aah! l want to kiss you!
And me too?
No, no, you've got to be here, look after the play. You're my wingman.
Yes, Mr Maddens. Send me a postcard, man.
- l will do. - OK. Duh-duh-duh!
Hollywood's a-coming! Hollywood's a-coming!
'Flight 715 is now ready for boarding...'
- Mr Maddens! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Room for two little ones? - Sorry?
- William and Saffron are coming. - They can't.
l've got the consent forms from the parents. Passports. l've got the tickets.
Miss Rye and l thought it'd be a really good idea if they come with you,
because they can do the singing, dance and do the opening numbers.
The gate's closing. What are your allergies?
Ponies, horses, donkeys and cats.
- You'd better take these back. - lt's a good idea. lt's a good idea.
- Desmond. - They can help you.
l'm not taking two children on an eleven-hour flight.
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling Ring-ting-tingling too
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong
Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling, "Yoo-hoo!"
Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong
- Mr Maddens, look what we've found! - What is it?
So, we're in the right area. We're closer to her than we were at the beach. Good.
We should be getting very near Beverly Hills now.
Saffron!
lf we come across anyone, let me do the talking and you keep schtum, OK?
Now just follow me.
Excuse me. Do you guys have an appointment?
l have an appointment with Jennifer Lore. My name is Paul Maddens.
- Can l see some lD, please? - Sorry?
- l need to see a piece of lD. - l'm so sorry.
l haven't got it with me. l was going to meet her for lunch.
You're not on the list. So l wouldn't be able to let you on, even if you had it.
ls it possible to check? l'm here. l've come all the way with them..
l just updated this, but l'll check one more time for you. So, you stay here.
- Follow me! Come on, this way! - Hey, stop! Come here! Stop!
Come here! Stop!
Quick!
Come on!
OK, come here, come here.
- Hold on tight. - Hey, stop!
Stop, wait! Respect the badge! Stop!
- Help! l can't slow down! - Whoa! Whoa!
Think Gabriel! Father Thomas, it's not your bit.
What do you mean, it's not my bit?
Oh!
Good morning, lndependent United Pictures.
That's a David Lowestein? OK, putting you through.
Good morning, lndependent United Pictures. Hi, Angie.
l know.
Putting you through. How can l help you, sir?
- Hi. My name is Paul Maddens. - lndependent United Pictures. Uh-huh.
That's for a Shaun Michell? OK, putting you through. l'm sorry, sir.
Paul Maddens to see Jennifer Lore at 10:00.
- Can l take your name again, sir? - Paul Maddens. M-A-D-D-E-N-S.
- And that's a P-A-U-L-L? - P-A-U-L.
- No, just one L. - L. l don't have that appointment, sir.
- Sir, move away from the desk. - l've moved away.
Tony, we have children in reception!
- So what's the problem there? - Tony!
- Calm down. - l'm so sorry, there's this crazy guy...
- And he's been... - Yeah, no, it's fine. lt's OK. lt's fine.
You look amazing.
- Why are you here? - You know why l'm here.
You didn't give me much of a choice. You wouldn't return my calls.
Paul, l don't understand what l'm meant to do.
Look, you shouldn't be involved in it
but somehow we've got to a situation
where the whole town thinks that Hollywood are coming.
Why do l feel like l'm suddenly ten years ago?
l tried to maintain a contact with you.
- You did not want anything to... - Excuse me. Sorry. Jen.
- This is that letter of agreement. - OK.
- You can take time off and come and... - l can't take time off.
Hang on. All of a sudden, an executive producer can't just take their time off?
- l'm not an executive producer. - What are you, then?
l... l file, l answer phone calls, l speak to people.
l put people in meetings, out of meetings.
- A secretary? - Yeah.
You can't be a secretary. You can't be a secretary.
She does a lot more than that, and you should respect her...
Yes, l am. l am pretty much a secretary. Yeah, yeah.
l'm sorry, look l know this is mad.
l know this is insane and it's my fault.
l'm asking you for one more favour and then l'll be out of your life.
l can't do anything, l have no power.
lf you can't do it, who can? Harrison, are you up for it?
- No, l'm sorry you came all this way. - Trip to England?
Paul, listen, l'm really sorry that you've come over here.
- ls there a Harvey or Bob? - There's not.
- Who could help me out? - Have you got an appointment?
No, but l'm not leaving here with these two without something to take home.
Come here!
- Kevin, get Security. - Security, please.
Come on. Here it is. This way. This way.
Have you heard of the nativity?
You have. l can tell you have.
Right, so we're doing our nativity show.
- Mary meets Joseph, they give birth... - l know the story.
OK, you know the story, then, but it's being performed by 24 children...
lt happens every year in every school around the world where Christians are.
So, what's so special about yours?
A good question. Here's an even better answer.
One, two, three, four.
- Things are really cool in Nazareth... - Sing it out.
Our city is full of joy
Cos this is where girl meets boy...
Yes, that's a Shaun Burridge, putting you through.
Last chance.
- Bye, Paul. Thanks for dropping by. - Oh, shut up, Harrison.
They're not coming, are they?
No, they're not.
- ls it our fault? - Hey, what? No.
No, it's not your fault. Come on.
Although you could have sung a bit better.
They're expecting Hollywood to come and see their show.
Mr Parker, we can make that happen.
l got 50 states.
l've got hundreds of towns in each one of those states
that are putting on a nativity play.
l don't need to travel 6,000 miles.
Mr Parker, l need you to do this for me.
l have worked here for three years and...
every morning at ten to eight l take your coat, l hang it up.
At nine o'clock l get you your coffee, l put it on your table.
l take away the letters, l put them into the out box,
l take the other letters and put them into the in box. l file, l fax, l smile.
Jennifer,
that's what you're paid to do.
l know.
- Yes. - Yes.
- Hello. - Well?
No joy.
To take two children out of here without my permission!
- Mrs Bevan, l have consent. - Thank goodness for that!
lt was the first thing Mr Poppy gave me.
Otherwise it would be abduction and the whole school would have to close.
l would never have got on the plane had l not had these.
Do you realise the school could get into severe trouble over this?
- What is this? - l don't know what that is.
What is that? Did you do that?
Desmond, l trusted you. l trusted you with children.
Small lives. l thought you could rise to the challenge.
- But you have been a disaster. - l'm really sorry, Auntie Pat.
- Did you know about this? - Not that. But l did know about...
- No. - What did you know?
- We've got to tell her. - Speak to me. What did you know?
Well, actually, Hollywood, they're not coming.
Paul, Mr Maddens panicked, l think,
and, er... lied.
Why did l ever, ever for a minute think that this school
would ever have anything good happen to it,
and out of the ordinary and successful and...
and helpful to me and the children?
Why did l ever think that would happen? Of course it wouldn't.
- Mrs Bevan. - Start looking for another job.
- Sorry? - And you, you're out.
You're irresponsible, you're not focused.
You're, l think, possibly educationally subnormal.
You have an attitude of wanting to be a friend to the children
rather than a professional adult.
Which anybody can do. Any fool can say, "Who wants to meet a pig?
"Hands up, who wants to go to a hospital." Any fool can do that.
And it transpires that you are that any fool, and l really had high hopes for you.
For five minutes l thought you were something else,
but, no, it transpires you are actually just an idiot.
As you know, l've been away for a couple of days
and in that time something has changed regarding our nativity.
l'm afraid l let you believe that Hollywood were coming
and they're not coming.
But worse than that,
we are not actually being allowed to do the show, there will be no nativity at all.
Can't we do the show anyway? We don't care about Hollywood.
Unfortunately not. Mrs Bevan is not gonna let us do the show.
Please, please, please, Mr Maddens. Can we still do the nativity? Please?
l told a lie,
and l let that lie grow and multiply and turn into lots of other little lies,
and, as l've told you all, probably, on many different occasions,
a lie always, always causes more problems than it solves.
Which is why l shan't be here next term.
This will be my last term here. l won't be coming back.
And worse than losing my job, my position, my security,
much worse than that is that l'm not gonna see any of you again.
And...
...that's a very hurtful thing for me.
Come on, back to your class, please.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles Will be out of sight...
- There's a wee joke in it. - ls there?
Oh!
- Just that little bit there. - That's good.
- Hey. - Jennifer, how are you?
- l'm all right. - Good to see you.
Until then We'll have to muddle through...
- l love you. - l love you, too.
Somehow
So have yourself
A merry little Christmas...
Who are you and where do you come from?
We are the three kings and we've come to find the baby Jesus.
He's the new King of the Jews.
Kill every boy child in this land!
- Where's my baby? Where's my baby? - Where's my baby? Where's my baby?
l am the King!
So have yourself
A merry little Christmas
Now...
Nouns are used to name a person, animal, place, thing or idea.
We've got football, pineapple, iguana, guitar.
Nouns can be replaced by these pronouns.
They can replace nouns or other pronouns.
So, ours, she, one, he, it, this, these, you, none.
- Are you all right, Cleo? - No, not very.
- What's the problem? - Nothing.
- TJ? - l miss Mr Poppy.
Everyone misses Mr Poppy.
We'd be doing the play if Mr Poppy was still here.
Poppy! Poppy!
What am l doing? Meet me in the hall in ten minutes. We're doing the play.
All right?
Desmond, l've come to apologise.
l said some things to you that were unforgivable,
and that weren't true and that were mean,
and l want you to come and do the play with me because l've told the children
and l can't do it without you.
l messed everything up.
l know l put it on you, l know l did.
You were right all along,
and for a dundus, you've been right on the money every single step of the way.
You said l was scared, l denied it. You were absolutely right.
You said l was still in love with Jennifer, l denied it and you were absolutely right.
Well, let's do it. What are you waiting for? We better get going, all right?
- You're going to do it? - Yeah, let's do it.
Right, thank you. You're not gonna regret it.
Oh, my gosh!
lt looks amazing.
You remember where to press the button.
- Don't be nervous, you're a Nazarean. - Mr Maddens?
l don't want to be a building. l want to get a proper part.
You're playing part of Nazareth in a song called Nazareth.
Now, please, everyone calm down!
Fingers crossed, my friend.
- l'm nervous. l don't want to do it. - l'm nervous, and l don't want to do it.
But it's you and me. We're gonna beat them all.
Come on, Mr Maddens. We've got to get going. We haven't got much time.
This is what everybody in Nazareth used to wear, even the women.
Not on the women, no.
Buddy, Buddy, it's exciting, isn't it?
Look, the audience are filling up.
OK, everybody listen up, all right?
Big bit of advice and l had to learn this the hard way.
Can everybody make sure you've done a poo and a wee,
because there won't be a chance when we get the show going,
So, you can use my caravan, do a poo and wee.
Come back! Come back! There will be no show this evening.
Now, l have just had a phone call telling me that this was all happening.
- What is all this? - Mrs Bevan.
l cancelled this performance! l cancelled the show! You are sacked!
- You know you are sacked. - What else can you do to me?
- Desmond! Desmond! - Thank you! This is marvellous!
- Well done, young man. Look at them! - Thank you.
Don't they look wonderful? Break a leg, kids!
- l need to have the microphone. - OK, l'm gonna do it.
- Can you watch from that wing, please? - Come on, love.
This is gonna be sensational. The town will be so proud of you.
Ladies and gentlemen, mums and dads,
l just want to thank you for all the effort you've put into the show.
But if l had to single any one person out for their efforts,
for their time, their diligence and their enthusiasm,
it would have to be Mrs B, better known to you as Mrs Bevan.
Come on, come and take a bow.
Mrs Bevan. Come on. Come on.
Um... hello. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, it's very kind of you.
Er... this will be my last nativity play, so it's a bit special, really.
We're used to the school hall,
we don't have all this beauty around us normally for the play.
The mums and dads who've been to see our nativity play know that, er...
you know, things can go a little bit wrong with the little ones.
Don't expect... l was going to say, don't expect too much.
But, er... l shouldn't have said that.
Smack.
Nobody ever expects enough of the children at St Bernadette's.
Everyone expects them to go down the drain,
and l'm going to change that.
That's what l said 17 years ago and, er...
tonight it stands a chance of coming true.
l've not seen it. l don't know what's gonna happen.
But all l know is that each and every one of these children is amazing
and wonderful and a little pocket of stardust.
Hear, hear.
Hope you enjoy it.
Things are really cool in Nazareth
Our city is full of joy
Cos this is where girl meets boy
Barely out of school in Nazareth
Parents join hand in hand
This is no one-night stand
A wedding is being planned
Here in Nazareth...
Sing out, sing out.
Nazareth, the place to live
Always willing to forgive
Nazareth, your big heart swells
We can hear those wedding bells
Feeling in a fix in Nazareth
Rules there to be obeyed
Arrangements are being made
Got to get your kicks
ln Nazareth
Maybe you'll run away
Start out a brand-new day
Still you cannot betray
Good old Nazareth...
He's not my type
She's not too bad
Not the most gorgeous l've ever had
l'll grow to love her
lt might work out
Too young to know what it's all about
And yet there's something
Behind those eyes
A fire that flickers but never lies
Could l love him?
Could she love me?
You can't rush lnto what is meant to be
One look
And we're forever
One look
And it's like we've always known
One look
We're boxing clever
Together forever
And always home
Together forever
And always...
Always, always
Home!
OK, mate, it's your big moment.
Don't look down.
OK, people, hear the news l've got something to yell about
OK, people, forget the blues Here's something to feel swell about
Good news, click your fingers Good news, stamp your feet
Good news always lingers
Good news, feel the beat
Good news, wakey-wakey Good news, shake your ass
Good news, shakey, shakey! Good news, mission mass!
Good news!
Hey, little sister, hear the word
There ain't no need for a big stork bird
Time to holler, time to dance...
Ooh!
You're gonna need some bigger pants
Good news! Good news!
Yeah, good news
Good news, yeah!
Your belly's growing You get the idea...
- Mr Maddens? - Yes, darling?
l have a tummy ache, l don't think l can go on.
- Have you tried taking deep breaths? - Yeah.
- Tried taking your hat off, for once? - Mm-hm.
- Alfie, you're just gonna have to do it. - What?
- Can you go on in Sam's place, please? - No way.
- Why? - Because that's a girl's costume.
You already look like Barbarella. Go in there and get dressed. Thank you, Sam.
Mary and Joseph were told they had to travel to Bethlehem to be counted
because of the nasty, mean King Herod.
- Stop, everyone! - Mary had to run...
Stop! You shut up! Stop! Stop, everyone!
That will do. OK. That's the end! Stop!
l'll have that, please. Give me that.
Right, my name's Gordon Shakespeare.
You thought you were here to see Hollywood. You're here to meet them.
Not to see this substandard chav fest!
lt falls upon me to tell you that no one was coming from Hollywood!
No one was coming and nobody will!
That man is a sham!
As if Hollywood would come to Coventry! No!
Look at him. He's a dishonest person.
He lied.
What is it?
lt's a star.
lt's Hollywood!
Ladies and gentlemen,
may l please introduce to you the star of Bethlehem
and her sparkling sparklers!
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ah
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh...
OK, everybody, clap your hands. l'm a superstar and l'm coming out tonight.
l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight
A cheeky drink, a naughty wink
We'll loosen up all right
Stand back and put your shades on
Because l'm about to shine
My blinding light will thrill you
Cos there's no starlight like mine
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Sparkle and shine
Planets gather round
Sparkle and shine
Let's all make a dazzling sound
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever, Christmas Eve
l've got my light within me And it's coming out for you
l'm dizzy with self-confidence Hope you can feel it too
l'm lighting up the skies tonight
So come on, join the party
Make the moment last all night
And keep the skies all starry...
Oli! Oli! Your mum's here. l just saw her. She's right at the back.
So, when you do your rap, just look for her and give it your everything.
- And the donkey's freaking out. - Sorry?
l didn't have any mints so l gave it chocolate. lt's feeling icky.
- You gave it chocolate? - Yeah, l've got to do narration.
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve...
The four kings saw the beautiful shining star rising from the east side.
They thought she looked... Rrrr!
So they decided to follow her.
One time.
Come on. Come on.
- Two times, come on. - Shining down the light
- Peace to the star - Shining down the light
What a moment when l saw her first
She stole my heart
So it's about to burst
l'm the guy she twinkles for, je t'adore
Cos she's blinding me with love
She's my saviour from above
She's the brightest star l've ever seen
Brightest star
lt's like we're living ln some kind of dream
lt's like some kind of dream
Why do l feel overcome With hope and joy?
Because she's shining down her light
And she's going to be my girl And me her boy
l'm feeling like l've got to follow her
With frankincense And lots of gold and myrrh...
Excuse me.
She is going to lead the way To Christmas day
Hallelujah feeling good
Time to leave this neighbourhood...
Hello, Mr Maddens.
You weren't coming.
l know.
She's my shining star from above
She twinkles and she sprinkles And l want to be her love
l want to squeeze her, please her Share a slice of pizza
Extra spicy!
She makes me hot under the collar And fizzy deep inside
l wish l could lasso her And take her for a ride
She's tiny, she's shiny She sparkles in the night
l love her and l need her To guide me through the night! Word!
Eventually, Mary and Jo-Jo found an innkeeper what was nicerer. He said...
You can use my stable. At least it's dry.
Yeah, man. Huh!
They asked the animals if they could nestle down to pop out the baby Jesus.
The donkey said nay, but the other animals said it was all right.
And everyone what was anyone gathered round to witness...
Buddy, what happened?
Well, l put that plug in and it all exploded.
Don't worry, l'll take care of it. You've got to get on stage. Headphones off.
Shh, l'm going to give you all a candle. We've got these candles here.
As soon as you've got one, just make your way out onto the stage, OK?
Everyone, this is Jennifer, who you all heard about, from Hollywood.
- Hello. Hi. - Give out the candle.
Sometimes life is not all it can be
And here we are
Wondering just how far This road can lead
And here we are
Then from the darkness Shines a bright burning star
And who we are ls changing within our hearts
- One night - One night
One moment And everything's changed
One night, one moment
And everything's changed
One night, one moment
Tonight is so pure and so special
We'll never feel lonely again
Cos we are all standing together
As friends
Ooh, ooh, ooh
And everything's changing forever
One night, one moment...
Yes!
Come on, everybody! Clap your hands!
We're gonna tear the roof off this place! Let's rock and roll!
Bob! Bob!
Wig out! Yeah!
Alice, best back flips ever!
Oli!
Edward, best fluffercuff!
TJ, throw some shapes!
Best burp ever!
We've got a special guest from Oakmoor!
Thomas, joined by Becky. Boogie!
Rock and roll!
Yeah!
Mr Maddens, come up!
Come on!
Bring Jennifer with you, come on!
Miss Rye! l love you!
Critic man, come up and boogie!
lt doesn't matter how many stars you give it!
Gordon, come up.
No, Gordon! Gordon!
Sparkle and shine
Planets gather round
Sparkle and shine
Let's all make a dazzling sound
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever, Christmas
Sparkle and shine
Planets gather round
Sparkle and shine
Let's all make a dazzling sound
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve
'And from that night me and Jennifer fell in love with each other and Christmas
'all over again.
'And as for our nativities, they just kept getting better.
Don't mind being a shepherd or a stage manager.
Sometimes life is not all it can be...
l always wanted to be Mary in the whole of my life.
l would like to be Angel Gabriel.
Ah-ah-ah-ah...
And just how far this road can lead...
l wouldn't mind being a donkey.
Actually, l'd quite like to be the star.
Bah, humbug!
Then from the darkness Shines a bright burning star
And who we are ls changing within our hearts...
You might not like this but you might do. lt's dancing.
- One night - One night
One moment
And everything's changed
One night, one moment
And everything's changed
One night, one moment
Tonight is so pure and so special
You'll never feel lonely again
Cos we are all standing together
As friends
Ooh-ooh-ooh
And everything's changing forever
One night
One moment
Why do you want to play an innkeeper?
Because l love to, because he swears all day.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round young Virgin Mother and Child
Holy lnfant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night
Holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia
Christ the Saviour is born
Christ the Saviour is born...
- Silent night - Silent night
- Holy night - Holy night
Son of God
Love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus Lord at thy birth
Jesus Lord
At thy
Birth
Get in there, baby. Get in.
Ooh, ooh
Ah
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh...
OK, everybody, clap your hands.
l'm a superstar and l'm coming out tonight.
l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight
A cheeky drink, a naughty wink We'll loosen up all right
Stand back and put your shades on Cos l'm about to shine
My blinding light will thrill you Cos there's no starlight like mine
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Sparkle and shine
Planets gather round
Sparkle and shine
Let's all make a dazzling sound
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve
l got my light within me And it's coming out for you
l'm dizzy with self-confidence Hope you can feel it too
- l'm lighting up the skies tonight - So come on, join the party
- Let's make the moment last all night - And keep the skies all starry
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Sparkle and shine
Planets gather round
Sparkle and shine
Let's all make a dazzling sound
Here's something you won't believe
lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve